Thursday, November 5, 2015

Hope whispers

A thunderous shower penetrates the open, parched throat of summer's earth.  Zucchini bread bakes in the oven.  Four mini loaves rise and peak like mounds of earth.  Steve's soulful voice singing from a near-by room, and I smile.   A deluge of thoughts and emotions flood my soul like the torrent outside.  I catch a glimpse of an invitation to a friend's baby shower hanging on the fridge, and the image deepens.  It's as though I hear the approaching cries of LONG awaited hopes and dreams!  Today swells, and I feel hope springing from the breast of the moment... the birth of dreams... the birth of infants... and my parent's garden harvesting enough fruit and vegetables to feed an army.  A rhythm approaches... and earth is already yielding to its vibration.  I feel anxious.  Future is attached to hope, and I can feel its ardent flame.  I'm desperate to rush, but slowly reach instead, as if to carefully establish the moment.

I've had "hope issues" in the past.  The cold voices of despair have been known to strangle a moment like this until it breathes its very last breath...spewing and hissing in twisted victory over possibility until it lies limp and lifeless on the floor.  But this time... hope's light is threatening it's dark grasp.  Guarding the recesses of my mind, hope jousts against bitter despair.  In my dream a couple of weeks ago, Hope was revealed to me as a friend leading the way, pointing toward a path, and giving new direction... she seemed eager for me to follow, as if she knew something I didn't.  Once again, I'm pursued by hope's whisper.  I linger... and with each lingering moment hope strengthens.  Future is attached to hope!  I'm eager to run and consummate the dance!
Steve's soulful melodies peal through the house again, and I smile.   

Tuesday, October 1, 2013

Step in Time

When you've spent a long time in the dark and can't find your way. When you're following a crumb trail without luxury of seeing the whole. 

The hour is late and you feel chased by the unthinkable.

It's when you're covered all over in smoke and ashes that the light comes. And with light comes sound.  And in the darkest of night, dawn is awakened by the song of your soul.

One step at a time you move in rhythm until mystery is revealed.  And the wildest discovery of all is that you weren't alone in the dark.. and you're not alone in the light.  You're surrounded by a chorus that stretches from roof-top to roof-top. The rhythm begins to swell and shake the ground beneath and a whole town is soon stirred by the sound and aroma of those emerging from smoke and ashes.. one step at a time!

Listen!  Your watchmen lift up their voices;  
together they shout for joy. 
Burst into songs of joy together you ruins of Jerusalem 
~Isaiah 52:8-9

Saturday, March 30, 2013

Mourning to Dancing

My mind and heart has been full over the past few weeks from contemplating and celebrating Passover and Resurrection.  A light and energy has once again highlighted inspiration and given fresh wings to hope and promise!  I am moved by the idea of that crazy morning.  I wonder what it would have been like to be in the midst of the morning fog and witness the tangible reveal of that divine reality.  What a beautiful scene it must have the women who came expressing deep sorrow, and bearing fragrance appropriate for burial, stood unaware that the morning dew had crowned their heads like a wreath of laurel.  Their deep mourning turned in an instant to dancing as the grave that housed their dearest possession was revealed to be nothing less than a "treasure chamber"!  What overflow, what joy, what new colors must have exploded the color spectrum in that moment!  What rhythm their feet and bodies must have danced to as they ran to give testament that He did exactly what He said He would do...truth was alive!  

As the flames of difficult circumstances burn hot against my skin, I am persuaded to believe anew that the night season demands the dawn...that mourning, grief, loss, loneliness, confusion, discouragement, and rejection are not finalities of hopeless destiny, but preliminaries to a greater reveal!  The morning mist is so close I can feel it soothe my flaming skin.  I am undone by the reality that my wilderness has been a "treasure chamber"...that every moment of this long night has been guarded by a blood barrier that demands my life...that my barren soul is already lined with jewels!  For the power of that divine resurrection has been working its way through every fiber of my being.  He is my Beloved, and His Light is the color I crave!  The tomb is empty...but my heart is full!                                                          

Thursday, June 28, 2012

"when living the stories interfere with writing them..."

as january started i had huge plans for my blog.  i was going to post no less than three times a week.  i've yet to catch the rhythmic wave of all that... still hoping.

...from our family scrabble game in April
a lot of beautiful living in these past few months... travel, sickness and health, rich and poor.

but for now, i have in my thoughts and hold in my prayers the beautiful region of Colorado Springs and the families that have been driven out of their dwelling!  "Maker of heaven and earth your love endures and you are faithful... establish borders around the destructive fire and smoke, and send your reign to settle it."

it's hot and dry here too, we need rain.  could he be waiting for us to bear his heart and water the parched soil with our tears?

great and AWEsome is our God, and it's okay when we feel frail and our hope leaves us groping in the dark for things like health and jobs, family and friends, and regions that need rain.

in the distance there is a cloud, extol him who rides it by his name, Yah!

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Oh what love 
         the Father has lavished on His bride!

letters and old photos are some of my favorite things to collect.  so full of expression and story.   

the letter that is pierced through this arrow reads, "a valentine message from Clara".  i looked up the name Clara in my name book and it said, 

"Brilliant and Shining Light"... 
the verse for Clara is Ps. 36:9 
For with You is the fountain of life; in Your light we see light.

i was already in love with this visual, and then it went even deeper.  i thought how the person who created it probably had no idea what the name Clara meant, or maybe they did.

He's done everything he needed to do to win our love... yet He still chases, pursues.  He knows we make diligent search too...  there is seed in ALL of God's creation that knows where it originated and it groans for it's source.  but our heart follows our treasure and sometimes we place our value in dim places.  i've looked away, been dazzled by counterfeit... and been melted by his amazing love pulling me hard into him and breathing Isaiah 49:16 deep into my skin, "see, you are here.. inscribed in the palms of my hands.."

his love is his light... and in his light, we... see... light!

may your heart be pierced with the flame of "Brilliant and Shining LIGHT"!  may it invade your mind, your soul, your spirit, your body... may it shift every cell, and regenerate and redeem your days. 

I'm my beloved's and he is mine! 

Thursday, January 12, 2012

Deep and Intimate... Seeking and Finding

But if from there you seek the Lord your God, you will find him if you look for him with all your heart and with all your soul.  Deut. 4:29
So I'm staring at this verse today, after a friend emailed me a devotional with this song, and I realize... it's my birthday, 4/29!  Barely in the door on this 12th day of the new... searching, wondering, seeking to find... and there he stands finding me, all open armed.  My desire for him, is actually his desire for me flowing through me.  I've wasted too much time bowing the knee to things, situations, disappointments void of life and breath.  Though well meaning... only worthless statues that resulted in zapped energy, weakened foundations, and clouded focus... so I'm smashing some alters. Running hard to leap gently in arms that linger on the other side of the veil.  Excavating deeply the heart of the only One who gives me life and leaves me breathless... all in one sweep.  


New Year's Eve, when the clock struck midnight, we poured the Vine and broke the Bread.  Red oil burning in the lamp...

A few hours before midnight we decided to take communion at this threshold of beginning where things end. Centered at the intersection of old and new in intimate exchange with the Divine.  Beautiful mystery... this One who is not confined by time or space yet makes the walls of our flesh His dwelling.  Who can fathom it.  Hand reaching down and pulling us in to His moment and pouring a rich glass of love and sacrifice. 
Love... peace... faith... is overshadowing me for the new year. Deeper love and more communion.